Ridin' bikes. Eatin' cupcakes.

Monday, March 3, 2008

A Saturday in Purgatory

I wonder how long it'd take a day dreaming Max Fischer to solve the following mathematical equation:

(1/2 bottle of wine + 1 sleeve of Thin Mints + 1 big glob of hummus + 1 handful of Sweet Tarts) x Guitar Hero III till 2am / (6:45am Start x 80miles/3500 feet of climbing)

If you've ever been close to what you just read in your own life you'll know the only possible answer is "A World of Pain."

Had way too late of a night with the neighbors followed by way too early of a morning with my bike riding friends.

I showed up with my iPod all charged up for what I was hoping would be a nice, relaxed morning of Long Slow Distance augmented with a pastry interval or two.

Instead I was greeted by half a dozen dudes in race shape snorting like a herd of bulls with nary an iPod in sight.

Right then and there I should have gone home and called it a day.

Instead, I grabbed by ankles like a fraternity pledge and accepted my fate. Didn't take long to get dropped on the first climb and by the time the second climb came to an end there was steam rising from my gut as if I were the little engine that couldn't.


It really was steaming. Use your imagination, sucka.


Few things in life are as joyous as spending a few hours get dropped over and over again. Since that's something I've grown accustomed to over the years, I really didn't have a problem with that.

What I did have a problem with was the market being out of Strawberry Croissants, the thought of which were the only thing that kept me pedaling for a good 25 miles. Talk about getting bit in the ass by the Karma Shark.

Oh well, I had it coming I guess. O.n the bright side, while I didn't wake up hungover I was pleasantly treated with somehow defying the laws of space and time by getting drunk all over again as I started sweating wine out my pores.At least that's how I think it happened.



1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

Ok Todd, I totally get the wine, the thin mints, and the sweet-tarts. In combo, even. But hummus? Why?