Good News. Bad News. Blah News.

First the good news...

Now the bad news...

Gift from my dear mother. Good thing I have hungry friends who like to eat.

Now the Blah News...

Been jacked up with a cold for the last week thats forced me to become an annoying mouth breather. The only time I've been able to breathe through my nose this week was when I pinned on a number and went racin' yet again.

It's funny how pinning it in a 27 mph pace line will clear a stuffy head in no time.

Did my little trick of trying to combine and interval workout and a breakaway just like last weeks and the results were equally stellar. And by stellar I mean sad.

Made my little "attack" with what little juice I had and when I thought I put a nice amount of space between myself and the group, I decided to casually take a look behind me to admire my handiwork in blowing the field apart.

What I saw was a guy right on my wheel so I crane my neck just a little further to try and get a head count of how many lucky souls were privileged enough to hop on this juggernaut's wheel for a little breakaway action.

Yeah, upon further review it was obvious that the entire group of 75 or so was able to join in the fun.

Well at least I was able to dream for a few seconds.

And despite being sick I was able to average 244 watts for a solid hour. So that's a good thing.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to start doing intervals....

Two fun things happened in my little world yesterday.

1) My dear mother sent me an Easter basket so that meant I had jelly beans for lunch.

2) Did my first race of the season last night so that meant I nearly barfed up jelly beans for the first time ever.

Race went pretty well. Finished somewhere near the start of the middle and even felt cagey enough to attempt a first lap breakaway. Took about 30 seconds of that valiant (foolish) effort to realize that race probably isn't the best time to try and do intervals for the first time in six months.

On the bright side, I was able to average 235.82 watts for an hour without dying and had a max of 1248.

Thank you sir. May I please have another?

I'm tellin' y'all its a SABOTAGE!!!

Here's were I was yesterday...

Not too shabby considering a weekend that featured mild laziness, a Fillet O'Fish and Shamrock Shake bender and an open bar/buffet.

The only problem is yesterday I do a favor for a buddy (No, it didn't involve finding a really good hiding spot for a dead hooker so don't ask) and here's how he repays me.

Aside from Nutty Buddies, that's pretty much the entire Little Debbie snack cake library.

I'm melting...

Still not skinny enough to keep from getting bounced out of the group like a basketball when the ride takes a turn uphill but I'm getting there.

Progress...

Before anyone asks, no I didn't have someone else stand on the scale. And yes, my right foot is on it. It's just out of the picture that's all.

The tubby kid got a gift from his sponsor...

That's right. Despite my highly un-aerodynamic backfat, the aerodynamic geniuses and all-round good folks at Hed saw fit to send me this cool jacket/jersey in addition to the sweet, sweet wheels I got back in September. Must be my bubbly personality.

Only 22.8lbs to lose and I'll be at the suggested weight limit of my Jet 50's. Until that magical day happens, they've been holding up just perfect.

A Saturday in Purgatory

I wonder how long it'd take a day dreaming Max Fischer to solve the following mathematical equation:

(1/2 bottle of wine + 1 sleeve of Thin Mints + 1 big glob of hummus + 1 handful of Sweet Tarts) x Guitar Hero III till 2am / (6:45am Start x 80miles/3500 feet of climbing)

If you've ever been close to what you just read in your own life you'll know the only possible answer is "A World of Pain."

Had way too late of a night with the neighbors followed by way too early of a morning with my bike riding friends.

I showed up with my iPod all charged up for what I was hoping would be a nice, relaxed morning of Long Slow Distance augmented with a pastry interval or two.

Instead I was greeted by half a dozen dudes in race shape snorting like a herd of bulls with nary an iPod in sight.

Right then and there I should have gone home and called it a day.

Instead, I grabbed by ankles like a fraternity pledge and accepted my fate. Didn't take long to get dropped on the first climb and by the time the second climb came to an end there was steam rising from my gut as if I were the little engine that couldn't.

It really was steaming. Use your imagination, sucka.

Few things in life are as joyous as spending a few hours get dropped over and over again. Since that's something I've grown accustomed to over the years, I really didn't have a problem with that.

What I did have a problem with was the market being out of Strawberry Croissants, the thought of which were the only thing that kept me pedaling for a good 25 miles. Talk about getting bit in the ass by the Karma Shark.

Oh well, I had it coming I guess. O.n the bright side, while I didn't wake up hungover I was pleasantly treated with somehow defying the laws of space and time by getting drunk all over again as I started sweating wine out my pores.At least that's how I think it happened.